Shaving my Balls and the Game of Attraction

I’ve been putting a lot of consideration into shaving my balls lately. It might sound crazy on the surface, but it’s actually kind of a big decision. See, I’ve got very hairy balls. And if I shave these hairy balls, after about 36 hours they begin to stubble. It’s like five o’clock shadow for my balls but at 12:30 pm on a Tuesday. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with stubble or shadow, but when it’s your balls they begin to itch. BAD. And they continue to itch for about a month.

So, I shaved my balls approximately a month and a half ago, give or take seven hours. I decided about a week after shaving my balls that I would ride it out for the next three weeks and two days in order to get back to the stage of officially hairy balls, where they would no longer itch. And I did it. I walked around the neighborhood often unable to resist the itch to itch my scrotum. I did this for weeks, just waiting to wake up one day and not have itchy balls. And I got there. I really did it. And I was happy.

Fleeting is the feeling. After a couple weeks of not having itchy balls, I consciously decided that I was going to make it part of my core identity to get hella bitches. “I can’t have hairy balls if I’m gonna be sea deep in clam all the time,” I thought. But if I were to commit to not having hairy balls, I would have to shave them every other day. That’s thirty seconds of effort every 48 hours. And, well… when I put it that way it doesn’t seem that bad. I guess it's the consistency of it that worries me. I already shave my face every day, now I have to add in balls to the picture?

It just seems like a lot of shaving, you know? Every other day I’m going to shave both my face and my balls? I don’t know, man. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the impetus. Do I really want to commit to grooming myself for these nappy headed hoes? That’s what it is. It’s defiance. I want to defiantly have hairy balls because I don’t want to give these girls the satisfaction of knowing I put in effort to look nice for them. It sounds messed up; I know. And maybe it is. Okay, it probably is.

But the world is messed up, and so is the game of attraction. We want to believe it comes down to more than having game, but it doesn’t. Everything is a game, and if everything is a game, so is attraction. Not realizing this has cost me countless women in my life. Women that I’ve really liked, women that I’ve truly loved.

I wanted to believe there were women out there who were “different,” but that’s silly. There aren’t any women who are different and aren’t any men who are different. We’re all different obviously, but I mean “different” in a different sense. I’ll be more specific. There aren’t any straight guys who aren’t influenced by the physical appearance of a woman, and there aren’t any straight women who aren’t influenced by how a man makes her feel emotionally.

Women want to believe there’s some knight in shining armor out there who is only attracted to her and nobody else and won’t even bat an eye when a busty beauty walks by in short shorts and no bra. Men want to believe there’s some angel sent from the heavens who is just going to be totally cool all the time doesn’t want any drama. Neither of these people exist. This is fairy tale, and we’re better off understanding reality from fairy tale because it allows us to navigate reality much more smoothly.

The game is simply both sides trying to prove this fairy tale does exist, and it’s me who is the exception! At the start of any potential romantic or sexual interaction, men act like we’re this totally civilized put together type of guy who isn’t like all the other dudes. We go to great lengths to make this happen, often subconsciously tailoring our entire lives around developing this image. We meet a girl we’re interested in, and this game beings immediately. We have to coerce this woman into believing we could potentially be that guy. We can’t just walk up to her and say “You! Me! Sex. Now!”

But that is what we’re saying. That’s ultimately what we’re always saying, we simply have to lessen the blow and navigate that desire in a more civilized manner. Doing this smoothly is what is often referred to as having “game.” Women absolutely hate when guys talk about this because they want to continue believing in the fairy tale. We all want to believe the game is never being played, even though it’s always being played.

Women tend to feel especially uncomfortable when they realize the game has been played on them and it worked. Not only do we want to believe our potential partner is the exception, but we want to believe that we are the exception. Women want to believe they’re the girl who the game won’t work on. Men want to believe they’re the guy who doesn’t need game, and can just attract women by, like… being himself or whatever.

And this doesn’t mean that either party is malicious. There’s often an assumption that any guy who has game or is using game is doing so in order to take advantage of women or is malevolently manipulative. This is not the case. It can be the case. There are definitely men out there who are narcissistic or sociopathic and simply use game on women in order to satisfy their dark desire to use people as pawns for their own personal satisfaction or entertainment. Those guys for sure exist, but they’re the exception and not the rule. Most guys are honestly just trying to make a connection, be it romantic or sexual, or some combination of both.

And most of us men have absolutely no game. Because we want to believe we live in a world where we don’t have to play this game, we convince ourselves we don’t need game. What happens is that most of us men settle for whatever women we can attract, which is often just one. Then we hold on until we hate ourselves. Sometimes that happens quickly, sometimes it’s 20 years down the road. Rest assured, there will come a moment when we are driven completely mad by the woman. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to maintain a relationship with someone for the duration of your entire life. This can happen. It almost never does, but it is possible. Believing that it’s likely to happen is simply delusion, however.

The point is, for most men, we take what we can get. And this is where the game is very different for the opposing sides. There are obviously exceptions, but most men are unattractive to most women, and most women are attractive to most men. To put this differently, most women always have multiple options, and most men usually don’t have any options; or we only have one option that we’re currently holding onto, often desperately.

If we don’t want to believe this, we can simply look at the data from dating apps. Men swipe right between 60-70% of the time and women swipe right about 5% of the time. This tells you everything you need to know. But we don’t need data to know this because it’s obvious. The female is she who chooses and the male is he who is chosen. Obviously the one who chooses is going to be more choosy. It’s like this for almost every species, it’s just the way it is. 

There’s also a lot more at risk for women because they’re the ones who rear the child. If a woman chooses to link up with a piece of shit man, she’s always at risk of having to be responsible for a piece of shit kid for the next eighteen years. That’s a massive risk to take, so it’s smart to be careful. The man doesn’t have much to lose because he can just spray his jizz into any hole he wants and then flee to Mexico.

This is very important to understand. Most men don’t understand this about women, and most women don’t understand this about men. If we both simply understood the opportunity cost for the opposing sides, our interactions would be much less of a struggle.

Another thing most men don’t understand about women is their desire for safety. Women are constantly scared shitless, and most men are not aware of this at all. That’s why women like tall men. A bigger man triggers the woman into believing he can keep her safe, which results in attraction. It’s not necessarily vain, the woman is just attracted to safety. And you can be a tall guy and attract lots of women initially, but if you have no game then the attraction will be lost, and you’ll be left with your pecker in your palm like the rest of us.

Where women have to be careful is with dangerous men. Dangerous men can often better protect a woman, but they can also be dangerous to the woman. In a woman’s eyes, the perfect man is dangerous to other men but safe to her. At least until they get to the bedroom. Then she wants him to be dangerous again.

Deciphering what kind of dangerous a man is will always be the exciting challenge for women. This is where it helps to be conscious and intuitive. A woman who always finds herself in abusive relationships is not very conscious. She can’t decipher the difference between a positively dangerous man and a negatively dangerous man. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me ten thousand times, I’m just not very aware of things.

Women also have to be careful when it comes to feeling excited. A lot of women are captivated by true crime TV shows and horror movies. The feeling of being afraid can be exciting, but if one is not conscious of this it can bleed into all aspects of our lives. It’s extremely common for anyone, but especially women, to subconsciously seek out negative emotion until one is completely overloaded and has a mental breakdown. Feeling afraid can be fun sometimes, but always being afraid is a recipe for disaster.

This is why women don’t like “nice guys.” As men, we are often very confused by this. We think, “well, women always say they want a man who is respectful and nice and all of these types of things.” And to some extent, this is true, but it’s also important to remember that everything everyone says is filled with at least some deception. Nothing we say is truly honest, because real honesty can only be in action, not words. That’s a different philosophical rabbit hole that we won’t go down right now, but it’s important to understand if we can find our way to understanding it.

Anyways, what women are not attracted to is a man who is predictable, or safe. She wants a man who can keep her safe, but not a man who is safe. Make sense? No? Fuck. She doesn’t want to be bored. That’s basically it. The worst thing a woman can be made by a man is bored. I mean, it’s not the worst thing. Excuse the exaggeration. It’s to illustrate a point because most men don’t understand this. “Nice” is boring. Women are not attracted to boring. Trust me, I know. I’ve been boring to women most of my life and it hasn’t worked out a single time.

And this is the crux of the game. The man must not be boring to the woman. He must ignite some kind of excitement in her, or he’s cooked like a Thanksgiving ham. Yeah, we’re not having turkey this year, only ham.

That’s all for today. I’ll write about this more, I’m sure. 

- Butternut Billycream

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